Tag Archives: self esteem

How to be confident in 2019

My ‘passion in life’ is to teach people how to look good, feel confident and be more successful.

The reason I feel so strongly about helping people is, when I was a young child, I had no confidence, my looks were described as ‘ugly’, and my success was nil.

A shy, thin, naïve girl that had few friends, suffered from alopecia, was bullied by many, and did not have the confidence to have a voice and say no.

As a result, growing up was a challenge, having little knowledge with the outside world.  I did everything I could to better myself, to become a successful person who was talented, liked, confident and attractive.  Along the way, due to my lack of confidence and knowledge, I attracted the wrong people.

Thankfully, it all turned around in my forties.  My newfound confidence shifted my world, my career, my health and my relationships.  After years of education, discussion and practice, I would like to share with you my 8 top tips on how to be confident.

1. Be your unique self

This is one of the most important things to get right.  Finding out who you are, is crucial to your look.  We want to show off your personality, your quirks and your style.

We tend to copy others to look amazing, and realise it doesn’t work on us.  Why copy others, when we have amazing traits ourselves?

Write a list of your authentic strengths, qualities and values.

What is unique about you?

To help you do this, ask your close friends, colleagues or family to give you three words to describe your personality.  You probably, will be surprised with what they come back with.  It boosts your confidence with what they come back and say; you will be surprised and feel good.

Another example, would be to be in a room of people – go out of the room for 10 mins – what would you like them to say about you?

Once you have the words that relate to who you are, you then match them on the outside with your image.  By doing this, you will feel comfortable with what you are wearing and feel confident to be YOU!

2. Realise you are not alone

I have helped hundreds of people with their image.  When I speak to them for the first time, this is what they tend to say…

  • I never knew how to look good when I was younger, or how to do my hair and never wore make-up because I didn’t know how to
  • I bumble along, not knowing what to wear or how to look, so I play safe and wear my jeans and a top. It doesn’t matter, as no-one sees me
  • I feel stuck in a rut, I need help; I am hopeless
  • I don’t know what to choose in the shops, or know what suits me – I feel frustrated, and go home with nothing
  • I feel plain and boring – I want to change
  • I want to find out who I am, but I don’t know how
  • I would like to know what suits my body and colouring
  • I hate my body and am not the most attractive
  • I get up in the morning and say to myself “I don’t what to wear”

The majority of people, lack in confidence.  This is due to the lack of knowledge and know how.

What I say to people is… “I hear this all the time”.

We were not educated when we were younger on how to apply make-up, how to wash our hair, how to come across, what suits our colouring and how to make the best of our body.

Don’t feel upset and lose confidence over this.  We didn’t have the knowledge and education to understand what to do.  We all feel the same.  We all hate something about ourselves, it is normal.

3. Show off your assets

We all have good areas in our bodies.  Have a good look at yourself and make a list of what they are.  To begin with, you will find this difficult, but as your confidence grows, the list will get longer.

For example –

  • If you have good teeth or a smile, let people see and smile more.
  • If you have amazing legs, show them off wearing a lighter colour, make them longer by wearing the same colour shoes as trousers.
  • If you have great hair, make that your asset.
  • If you have a good figure, wear fitted clothing to show it off.
  • If you have gorgeous eyes, let people see them.

Whatever your assets are, don’t be afraid to show them off.  When people notice, this will affect your confidence.

4. Don’t hide

Due to not being confident, the first thing we want to do is hide.  Our confidence will not grow, until we go out of our comfort zone and show ourselves to the world.

This could be wearing baggy clothes, hiding behind our hair and wearing dark clothing.  By doing this, we are not showing off our lovely personalities, faces and bodies.

 

Let’s think of the basics – wear clothes that fit you well.  Ensure you have cleaned your face and body with a good cleanser and moisturiser.  Wear simple make-up ladies.  Your hair should be clean, cut well, excellent condition and coloured by an expert.

5. Understand your body

We all have unique bodies that are different shapes, sizes and lengths.  To make the best of yourself and to feel confident, you need to understand your own body.

This would be:

 

  • To know if you have shortness or length and to know how to balance out your bodies to look the best when choosing an outfit.
  • To know your body shape to understand what cuts, fabrics and finishes to go for to make the best of your body.
  • To know where you are going right and wrong with your clothing choices and how to move forward correctly.
  • To know what garments work for your personality to show yourself off, again boosting your confidence.

Having this information has made a massive difference to my confidence.  When you are not confident you are indecisive, which is so frustrating inside.  When you have been educated, and go by your own personal rules, things are much easier and clearer to make decisions.

6. Wear colours that make you look young, fresh and radiant

Colour has a huge effect on our appearance and confidence.  When you wear the wrong colour, it can make you look sad, grumpy and unsure about yourself.  People can run a mile if you are looking aggressive or untrustworthy.

Understanding your dominant colour characteristics, makes a massive difference to your confidence, look and the way you are perceived.

Example –

  • If you have light hair eyes and skin, wear light colours
  • If you have dark hair, eyes and skin, wear darker colours
  • If you have some brightness to your hair and skin – wear bright colours
  • If you look muted and soft within your skin – wear softer colours
  • If you have yellowy coloured skin, wear gold accessories
  • If you have cool, pinky coloured skin, wear silver accessories

I am giving you the basics of colour analysis.  The best thing would be to have your colours analysed for you to look approachable and attractive to others, as well as feeling great yourself.

7. Body language

When you are not confident, you hold your head low and find it difficult to look at people.

Go out of your comfort zone and try these things:

  • Smile – people like being smiled at, it makes you feel good
  • Eye contact – try and look at people in the eye. Maintaining eye contact shows confidence
  • Posture – stand with your head held high and straight
  • Handshake – we don’t want a wet fish! A firm, simple, strong handshake is required
  • Walk with confidence

This is all to do with nonverbal communication.  Your choice of colour, clothing and hairstyle are also to do with your body language.

Certain colours can have an effect on your mood.  All these little judgments have an effect on a first impression.

8. Don’t stop

When you have all the skills, you will feel so much better within yourself and won’t be so frightened to try things.

All these little changes will make a massive difference to your life as so many of my clients that I have helped.  You will have a ‘light bulb’ moment where you will realise that actually….

 

I AM OK!

I AM A TALENTED, UNIQUE, GORGEOUS HUMAN BEING

THAT HAS SO MANY SKILLS

AND I AM READY TO CONQUER THE WORLD

Finally, keep moving forward and going out of your comfort zone.  Don’t forget to practice the steps.

This is what one of my recent clients had to say….

“Thank you for your consultation with me.  You were so sensitive and encouraging.  I think you have a real gift for the work you do, helping each of us re-kindle confidence and enthusiasm in what can be a vulnerable area of our lives, often kept very private.

Thank you for helping to re-awaken a more playful and engaged connection with my appearance !”

If you wish to know more, then I would be excited to help boost your confidence.

Your comments on my blog, would be very much appreciated.